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Monday, November 29, 2004

yesTerday was class bbQ.... saD oRganiseR, mE & idA assT.... fuN daY!!! beaUtifuL sunseT, beautifuL mooN..... he caMe aLso.... idA asKed me to asK hiM aLong & he aGreed... iDa, faizaL, me & hiM tooK fooD froM heR muM, bRoughT it to saD deN wenT to gianT to sHop foR somE moRe stuFF.... weN we goT bacK, he heLp me prepaRe d coRn.... tooK piX.... deN bbQ tiMe...
aTe fRied riCe, hoTdoGs, cRabmeaT, saTay... tooK a biTe of hiS coRn- noT nicE, noT enuF buttEr.... deN haD bbQed maRshmaLLows.... he asKed me to taKe a biTe oF his choC maLLow.... niCe!! deLi!! he tRied hiS haNd at bbQing... n asKed me to tRy wHetheR d saTay he tRied bbQed waS doNe anoT!!!! buT it waS la...
taLked aLot tt niTe, by d seA.... deN we joiNed ida, faizaL, jaS & peTer aT d rockS.... saT theRe, taLked agaiN, LookeD at a cLeaR viEw of d mooN, haD a miNor aRgumeNt abT wheTher it waS a sTar oR pLane *laugHs* , coNveRsatioN oF me goiNg bacK..... caLLed iDa & she toLd uS to waiT coS she waNs to taKe piX.... afTer takiNg piX of her, faizaL, mE & hiM, i waNted to go... buT had to waiT foR jas.... deN d 6 oF us tooK piX.... deN we baDe gDbyE...
we waLked to paRkwaY to taKe d buS.... he bouGht a drinK oN d waY, whiCh he haD me tasTe too... tooK 76, yawNed a coupLe of timEs on d buS..... reacHed hoMe appr. abT 11.50pM.... he saW me hoMe tiL i weNt up d Lift.... i waS reaLi happI he weNt to d bbQ, saW me wiD mY poLy fRens..... sPendinG timE wiD hiM waS gReat.... hiS comPany waS d besT thiNg nexT to d beauTy oF d suNset & mooN!!!
woNt denY tt maNy toTs cRossEd my miNd tt niTe weN we weRe at d beaCh..... hE beiNg theRe wiD me waS a woW!! heaRt woN denY anyThing eiTher..... i haF to remaIn tRue to mYseLf & my feeLings.... wiLL c wheRe tt leadS....

{ 1:08 AM }
..just so you know..

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

been Long time siNce i "wroTe"...... N manY thiNgs haF happEn duRing daT time.....
mY granddaD feLL reaL iLL on 18/11..... eveRy1 panickEd.... me, muM, bRo & siS cLdnt waiT 2 geT to gRans' hoMe daT we raN theRe, LiteraLLy..... seeiNg my gRandaD in daT sTate- shiVering, hoT aLL ovEr.... i bRoke dowN.... i cRied & cRied..... caLLed d ambuLance & it tooK deM 15 mins!!! to reacH.... i waS pisseD, buT i cLd onLi thiNk of my gRandaD at daT mmT.... rusHed to d hospiTaL N he waS in d emeRgency waRd 4 aN houR......
i feLt weaK aLL oveR weN d docTor toLd us 2 be pRepareD coZ he waS reaL weaK..... teaRs jus fLowed froM my eyeS..... daT was aLso d 1st tiMe i saW uNcLe Rafi cRied..... i tuRned to hiM & jaS siNce i kneW at daT houR (12am), theY'll stiLL be awaKe..... thEy boTh adviSed & coMfortEd mE..... i tHank u boTh.... 4 beiNg theRe weN i reaLi neeD it..... i pRayed gRandaD wLd puLL tHru 4 uS..... we Left d hospiTal at abT 2.30am weN d docTor toLd us dat iT's up 2 hiM to puLL thRu..... i cRied myseLf to sLp- 3 pLus.....
we visiTed hiM eVerydaY.... we waS in ICU 4 3 daZ.... he'S stiLL in hoSpitaL now buT he'S a LittLe betteR, sittinG up N taLking..... buT muM saZ he'S in a deLirioUs sTate- thiNking he wAs stiLL weRking..... mY heaRt bRoke N teaRs fLowed weN he taLked abT hiM weRking stiLL in d poLice foRce..... waT haD happen to d gRandaD i LoveD so mucH??? caN i pLs haF hiM bacK????!!! caNt wriTe nemoRe.... mY eyeS aRe bLurreD by teaRs....

{ 3:17 PM }
..just so you know..

Saturday, November 13, 2004

SELAMAT HARI RAYA dan MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN.... da day is finally here... da day where celebrations are in the air.... though it doesnt feel da same anymore.... haiz~ mum is cooking n cooking for tml- giving to all our neighbours.... visiting till morning.... jus hope i wont meet 'new relatives'... i cant seem to remember most of them!!!
so send smses to all ma frens- wishing them N all.... is it jus me tt feel as if hari raya is not da same as wen i was like... 10 years old.... mayb cos of da money!!! i dun reali get much.... as they mite assume i'm in da working force ready.... i'm not!!! $$$ ah! get some shut eye, wake up, bathe, send food, get ready N visiting da whole day.... tt's da plan.... so here we go, 1 month of hari raya.... be happy, ppl!!


{ 11:15 PM }
..just so you know..

Thursday, November 04, 2004

my nicK on msN has ppL wondeRing.... wat'S wronG wiD me??? the nicK in qnS is : 'm sicK oF feeLing so Left ouT, sicK oF ppL wiD theiR faKe smiLes N Lies!!! daT's iT.... da nicK reaLi reveaLs waT i feeL as ppL noE my niCk usuaLi reveaLs how i feeL daT daY/weeK.... weLL dat'S how i feeL now.... i duNNo waT 2 do wiD my siTuation in Life!!! sicK oF havinG to Live wiD Lies thRown to MA facE!!! siCk oF beiNg Left ouT!!! arGhh~ iS diZ waT fRenshiP meaNs??? iF diZ is uR definaTion deN i duN neeD enemiEs to huRt me anYmoRe!!!
daT's caSe (1).... aT da saMe timE of feeLing sicK N aLL, i'm aLso confuSed, unceRtaiN.... caN i juSt be happI wiD da siTuation noW wid hiM??? he'S there foR me, advisinG me, coNsoLing me.... iT's so gooD to feeL "proTected", "caRed", daT i'm sO scaRed daT in timE to comE, he'LL puLL a fasT onE N disaPPeaR.... noT smsiNg, noT beinG onLine....
nuRuL askS me to notiCe hiS behaviouR foR 6 monThs.... it'S beeN 1 monTh.... wiLL he stiLL be theRe in timEs to comE?? coS nuRuL adviSes me daT: iF he'S noT, forget abT him N moVe on.... buT da deaL is i aLreadY did tRy to moVe on.... buT he puLLed me bacK.... hmmm~ newaY, i duNno oF anY guYs cHasinG me riTe now.... so i'LL jus leT natuRe do iT's wondErs....

{ 10:20 PM }
..just so you know..